Merry Christmas =)

Yes!! AH AM HAMMERED!!..Lemme see...I had a glass of all the colours of Johnie Walker after I had some beer..ANd it FeeLS GooOoOoOoDDDDddD heh heh..

Anyways...My family and I went to the movies today..TGV KLCC...Yes..TGV still sucks..My sister only managed to book tickets at 1.30 am..the pages just kept showing errors before that..fug you TGV =) So yeah..the movie was gonna start at 11 am. Reserved tickets must be collected 45 minutes before screening. We left the house at 9.55 only to return at 10 cause we forgot something. So we officially left at 10. And we reached KLCC in 7 minutes. My dad tried to drift in a Waja. I can still feel the car sliding a bit.....Anyhoos..after getting the tickets, (My dad got them) we had some breakfast. Signatures is x-spen-sif......After some breakfast, we rocked into the cinema. Now ya see, I thought my sister had booked Night At The Museum...Cause really..that's 3 funnymen in 1 movie...I mean come on..The Great Robin Williams....So I was sitting there watching the commercials (Does anybody know what happened to the infomercial about having to turn off our phones ? I miss the mob boss)..When suddenly, I see Zhang Yimou's name....And then...I see cleavage ?!?!?!? (I have nothing against cleavage)...I looked at my sister and she said to me "..I booked Curse Of The Golden Flower...weren't you listening ?"..I guess I wasn't..So here is what I think of the movie..

..There's too much cleavage...I don't want to see your cleavage Oo..If I see it..I already know what it's like OO...But if you hide it..I can trick myself....I can imagine how it is..Heck..It might be better..but noooooo...You had to go expose yourselves...What would women's rights organisations say now ?? Anyways..Yeah..the whole thingey of this movie thang is like this..Chow Yun Fatt is the cool psychotic emperor..(D'you see his hair ? It..is awesome)..Gong Li is the empress..Then there's 3 sons..The first is from another women..the second..Gay Chou (Jay Chou..sorry..fingers ran outta control) was birthed from Gong Li and the third....who..I dunno who gave birth to him..=P..The supposedly dead other-woman (who gave birth to the eldest son...she's the imperial doctor's wife)..The imperial doctor who makes the crack...did I say crack ? I meant herbal medicine..And the imperial doctor's daughter....who secretly helps the Eldest Prince straighten his back pains..if you know what I mean.

It starts off with a scene inside the palace..And might I say....the background of the whole movie..Is way awesome....I'd like to live in that Imperial Inn..And also the place where the Imperial Doctor is sent to after he's promoted..a house like that between mountains...Fookin awesome I tell you...And the colours in the palace are just..amazing heh..Anyways oh yeah..The Emperor is coming back with the second prince..He sends forth some messengers telling his people to cancel the official greeting as he will be staying at the Imperial Inn and asks that the royal family visit him the next day..Inside the Inn we finally see Chow Yun Fatt..and he's still looking good..And we also see Jay Chou..with a moustache...And next comes (what I think) is the best part of the movie..the one-on-one between father and son..(because later..when the royal family fights against each other..there's too many people...sure..the director brought in 20k extras..So what ?

As the movies proceeds..we learn that the emperor is slowly poisoning the empress..we also learn that the emperor is a dirty,backstabbing but still cool fellow. Gay Chou is a filial son, and there was most likely a relationship between the empress and the eldest prince..I dunno if it's incest..cause she didn't give birth to him, and the third son knew about it all along...Near the climax..the Eldest tries to commit suicide..but he was too cowardly to actually kill himself..But the third son..being jealous cause his mother didn't wanna share the love kills him off anyways. Gay Chou decides to help his mother rebel against the emperor..the third son is killed by the emperor...The rebellion is curbed..And voila....Everyone that had a part in the rebellion died..cept for the Empress and the second son..The emperor says that he may spare the son..but only if he personally gives the empress her herbal medicine..Gay Chou couldn't live with himself and took the easy way out..He killed himself (And a collective "YES" is heard from the crowd)..The Empress who's nearly lost her mind (and also her boobs during most of the movie) hits at the imperial cup (made up by me)..We see that the herbal medicine was actually acid..it falls in the middle of the table..and yes..the movie's over..And the theme song plays..which is actually good..I love the song actually..Yes yes..I know it's from the gay dude..but it's good..so there...

So..in essence..we can summarize that the whole cause of the conflicts in the movie is caused by 1 thing only..Boobs...Not totally..but mostly..Lemme see if I can put it down....The Third Prince was jealous cause he coudn't have his mom's (Gong Li) boobs..So he killed the First Prince...The First Prince had a secret relationship with the Imperial Doctor's daughter..who by the way..shows a generous amount of cleavage throughout the movie..So yeah..The Crown Prince couldn't resist..so he succumbed heh heh....He also had a secret relationship with the Empress..Cause her boobs were way bigger than the I.D's daughters..The second prince (Gay Chou) didn't know whether to help his mother or his father...But in the end..he helped his mother. Why ? The emperor doesn't have boobs, does he ? Gong Li just had to use her boobs to her advantage....The strongest person in the movie is Chow Yun Fatt, The Emperor. Only he could resist The Curse Of The Golden Corset (from the newspapers). Why do you think he left the palace ? He got sick of Gong Li showing her boobies around..Why d'you think he wanted to kill the Empress ?? Cause he got fuggin sick of Gong Li strutting her stuff..Yes my friends...If it weren't for boobies..Zhang Yimou's film woulda flopped =)...All Hail Chow Yun Fatt!

As you can see..today..not unlike yesterday..I'm typing randomly..so do not..i repeat..do not kill me..that is all. Good Night..Merry Christmas..tell Santa I said Hi =D