I have the word "rejected" branded on my forehead

Well..I don't have the exact word on my forehead, cause I couldn't find any marker pens to write it. However, since this is my blog (I think), I have the right to write the story out. Bring popcorn, or tomatoes if you want.

All year I've wanted to tell her. All year I didn't. The last week of 2007, I typed up a sms. A confession sms XD. You know how when you type up a sms, if you exceed the character limit, the sms is sent in 2 parts and you're charged for 2 smses ? Well I typed up a 10 part sms in English. I guess I suck at English =P Then I thought, "Hey..why not I send it in Mandarin ? " Even though, I haven't written/practiced my mandarin in five years. So I typed it up. The style of the sms might be a different from normal smses because the only contact I've had with mandarin is Mandarin songs and....uh..mandarin dramas ?. I had to guess her name in Chinese. I double checked with a friend of hers, and LO! I was right . Heh.

Over the days, leading up to the 31st of December, I edited the messages many time. I didn't know whether I should send the English sms or Chinese one . I settled for the Chinese one because I felt that I had expressed myself better.....Or I was saving money..cause 5 parts to 10 parts is a big difference heh.

Alas, the fateful day came. By the way, I'll have to post what I did with the guys on the 31st of December in another post. Before the clock struck 12, I was still typing up some smses to my friends..Looking at my watch and sensing that the time was upon me, I went to my "Drafts" section of my phone and sent it. It took a long time sending. Funny thing, y'know how on special occasions like birthdays, you always try to send the message at 12 sharp ? Well later that night, when I checked my "sent messages" I saw that I had sent out the message at exactly 12. That seriously must have been my first right-on-time sms in ages.

Anyways, my friends messaged me back the whole time after 12. Every time my phone vibrated, I kept on thinking to myself, "Please let it be her." But the whole time I was watching the fireworks, It never was. I went back home at about 12.30. Then at 1 am. She messaged me and wished me "Happy New Year". Shocked might be the word I'm looking for. All I could think was "That's it ? That's all you have to say ? You didn't even spell out the words fully O_O"..After a few minutes, I assumed that she had ignored the contents of my message completely. I resigned myself to fate and wished her a good night and sweet dreams...As the sinking feeling in my stomach engulfed me, she suddenly replied that she was sorry and that she had only just finished reading my sms because some text was missing when she first received it. Repeating that she was sorry, she then also bid me a good night . (She did wish me sweet dreams, but I didn't sleep that night). And that's that...I didn't reply her. I'm stuck in limbo. I have no idea what her last sms meant. And I'm still online typing this because I want to get myself as tired as possible so that I can fall asleep as soon as my head touches my pillow.

Good night. And Sweet Dreams.